Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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