i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
