remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
