He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
