Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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