what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
