Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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