Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
