The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
