How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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