I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
