yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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