PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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