420 ftw
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
