put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
