I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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