I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize