Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
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drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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