I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
