sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize