i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
