i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize