i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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