He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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