Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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