We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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