lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i now understand why vodka
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
