there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
