Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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