all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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