That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the night ended with taco bell and tears
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize