So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
