from now on my penis is your penis
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Help me help you realize you are a moron
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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