Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
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Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
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You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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