I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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