idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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