So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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