why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
