Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize