i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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