On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
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I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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