what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
