i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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