She's JV to your varsity
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize