Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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