Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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