Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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