I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
