How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
