my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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