i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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