is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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