So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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