she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
