Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
