im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
