I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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