the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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