I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize