That's intense
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
