do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the room spins SO much faster in panama
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...